Valentypes 101

EmmaKenfield – Features Editor

MaddieYashinsky – Sports Editor

Every person has formed their own opinion on Valentines Day. Whether or not you choose to embrace it for all that it is, spreading love and affection simply because the day on the calendar calls us to do so, or to rebel against all that is love in order to prove something, when the idea of Valentines Day is mentioned, you know the stance you take. Is it necessary, really, to completely deny any validity to the holiday? Is it justified, truly, to treat it as if it is the tell tale factor to the success of any relationship? Who knows—there are a few undeniable stereotypes, arranged from one extreme to the other, who have their own exclusive opinions on the matter.

 

  1. The overly attached girlfriend, who not only believes in the holiday, but puts all aspects of the relationship to the test, defining the true feelings of her significant other by not only the way he expresses them, but by the magnitude of the surprises and gifts that he so chooses to shower her with. The past six months matter not, ignoring all past efforts to win her affection, paying attention only to the monetary value of what lies within that heart-shaped box. Only then, can she believe his multiple professions of love.
  2. The inbetween-er, who embraces the holiday for what it was created for, but doesn’t mind spending it on the couch with a bowl of Mac ‘n Cheese instead of in a high-class restaurant. A gift is appreciated, almost expected, but that gift could range from a single flower to a burrito to-go.
  3. The girlfriend who not only “couldn’t care less” about the holiday, but coincidentally “couldn’t care less” about the fact that her boyfriend seemed to have forgotten it entirely. All of her friends casually mentioning their extravagant dinner plans or thought-out presents, as she replies quietly with a “oh, he has plans he can’t get out of—I really don’t care enough anyways.” Attention all people of earth: this is a cry for a Galentines Day if there ever was one.
  4. The newly single, heartbroken one, who has yet to spend a Valentines Day alone. At each sight of a single rose, a heart-shaped balloon or a box of chocolates, the waterworks are triggered and the loneliness is heightened that much more. There is a strong possibility she ends up crying in her basement stuffing her face with ice cream and fried rice—if more than two days go by without hearing from her, she most likely drowned in her tears.
  5. The routinely single, anti-Valentines-anything, “I don’t need no man” type, who year after year forces other single women to come together for “Galentines” Day, to protest all that the holiday glorifies—love, men and heart shaped décor. Pop every balloon, never wear red and shame all “happy” relationships that embrace the day at all.
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